Saturday, August 12, 2017

Day 208 - Waking Up Fearless (part two - results!)

Sometimes I wakeup so fearful it actually prevents me from living my life the way I would like to see it lived.

I promised I would give a recap on whether I stood or failed in my challenge to break through this fear, and what I learned.

This blog is the continuation from: Waking Up Fearless

Standing now at the end of my day, I will say this: BEWARE OF COMFORT ZONES!!!

What I realized about facing and pushing through the experience of ‘fear of facing the day’ (described in my last blog), is that there is little to no fear when I remain in my comfort zone.

This is SO dangerous, because most of the fear we feel is irrational, yet we allow it to influence our lives, trusting this feeling so much that we would avoid pushing ourselves, expanding, or trying new things!

What I noticed is that the fear is usually based in past memories being projected into the future, as if the mind believes it is inevitable that the days will play out like it did in the memory it is storing. As if the same bad/consequential/unpleasant thing will happen again.

When I woke up with somewhat debilitating fear this morning, I gave myself the support word of ‘fearless’ – really took a look at what I wanted ‘fearless’ to mean for me, and how I could actually practically live it.

As I had mentioned, I was going snowboarding this day, and the memory of a bad fall I had had years ago kept coming up, accompanied by the beating I took as I was learning how to snowboard – as if these pains would all necessarily be re-lived.

When I went into moments of fear today, I reminded myself of my support word ‘fearless’. I remembered the definition I had created, and how I was pushing myself to move bravely forward, be fully present and ENJOY these moments, free from the shackles of memory: stop projecting and live in the Hereness of the moment, creating an entirely NEW moment, not tainted by the past.

The fact of having this support word helped me to see that I do in fact give myself permission to let go of the fear and enjoy life. Within this, I experience a shift within me, like a door opening after having given myself the key.

Today, I prompted myself a lot, and kept moving forward. I saw the day’s events as something to rather be fully engaged within and taken on as a challenge, rather than being fearful of them.

In this way, I got to return to my comfort zone at the end of the day, knowing this is not a hiding place, but rather a place where I can relax and reflect on how I did that day.
Having pushed through the fear and engaged and enjoyed, I can say that I feel a little more at home within myself, a little more ‘me’, like I was as a child.

Thank you for reading and I will see what comes up another morning upon waking up!

Here is another inspirational Self & Living video for further insights into self:

I am Not Awake Yet… Or am I?

Sometimes we wake up but will still experience ourselves as being “not awake” while we drag our feet towards our morning coffee in order to eventually “wake up” and be okay with facing and directing the day. But how can this experience of “I am not awake” actually be real if in fact our physical bodies are awake, aware, and already up and about?
Are we in fact not awake within our bodies, or are we simply stuck in an energetic experience and routine that only feels real because we want to stay in that state of grogginess and procrastination instead of facing our day?

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