This
is a continuation of my past blogs:
Herein
I am continuing self-forgiveness statements on my reactions within a situation
which I am tracing back through peeling back the layers within and through
self-forgiveness so that I may understand and delete the character/pattern from
within and as me- thus interacting with parental figures from a starting point
of equality and oneness instead of from the parent-child dynamic.
Self-Forgiveness
on Reaction C:
Reaction C: Frustration. Thought: She’s trying
to ‘help’ me complete a task by offering unneeded instructions with a lack of
awareness, instead of actually assisting and supporting me in ways which
consider the reality of the situation.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to project my desire for self-change on to a
parental figure.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to react within and as frustration when a
parental figure acts based on a starting point of unawareness, instead of
seeing, understanding and realizing that in reality, I am frustrated with
myself for acting from a starting point of unawareness, wherein I do not assist and support myself in
ways which consider the reality of my situation.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to judge a parental figure with projected
self-judgement, for acting from a starting point of unawareness, wherein I see,
realize and understand that I do the very same thing- such as giving
instructions when they are obviously not needed, such as when I will say or do
something unnecessary for the sake of ‘going through the motions,’ or ‘keeping
up appearances,’ when I’m actually not focusing or really interested at all,
but trying to pretend like I am for the sake of those around me, instead of
stopping, taking some breaths and reigning myself in so that I am present and
aware within my interactions.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to interact with others while I’m in a mind
possession, wherein I am completely in my mind and thus unfocused and unaware
in actual physical reality, so while in self-interest I indulge in the
energetic pursuits of the mind, I neglect physical reality and those within it
who I am interacting with at the time, instead of stopping my internal
experience and bringing myself back to awareness so that I can have an actual
real interaction with another instead of wasting both of our time by being
falsely present/interacting not as who I am, but within and as my mind, thus
interacting self-dishonestly as a façade rather than directing myself within
and through the interaction as who I am.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to think that when a parental figure gives me
instructions on how to do something which I obviously already know how to do,
that it is because he/she thinks I am capable of doing it, instead of realizing
that he/she is going through his/her own process and is in his/her mind, so
it’s not about me nor how he/she perceives me and my capabilities, but rather him/her
going through something of his/her own, and trying to play the façade and go
through the motions, as I have done- by reacting to this behaviour I am making
the statement that it is real and I accept and allow it, thus I will continue
to accept and allow it within me, therefore, I see, realize and understand that
the only thing I can do in self-honesty is to breathe through the
reactions/energy that may come up and walk through the situation without
participating thus- being in it but not of it- so I can assist and support
myself to not repeat this pattern within myself.
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to interpret ‘help’ from a parental figure as a message/sign/indicator that he/she doesn’t think I
can do it on my own/without help.
To be continued...
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ReplyDeleteThanks again.