Sunday, June 10, 2012

Day 38- Suppression continued


Continuing from yesterday’s blog about self-suppression instead of speaking up/standing up for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have the power to make another submit to me if I stand up or speak up for myself, instead of realizing that from a starting point of self-honesty, there is no inferiority/superiority polarity game, only self-expression in the moment, and I cannot control how another reacts/responds to my self-expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself through others, by judging ‘suppressed types’ which I see and define as cold, hard, rigid, boring and asexual.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being seen by others as cold, hard, rigid, boring and asexual, instead of realizing that I only fear seeing it in myself and thus hide it or overcompensate for it, thus suppressing myself even more.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as cold, hard, rigid, boring and asexual (due to the fact that I know that I suppress myself), instead of taking the entirety of me into consideration and not judging but rather directing who and how I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react internally as anger when I feel I need to stick up for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry and take it personally when someone challenges me or my stance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think or believe that no one should challenge me because I’m not out to challenge anyone.

To be continued….

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